Just Listen...

Forewarning, this is a very transparent post. I don't know why I feel led to write this, but I am none-the-less.

Over the last few weeks or so, I've really been struggling emotionally. Part of it is because I'm pretty sure by hyperthyroidism is acting up (it makes me really emotional), and the other part is stress. I also think it's because I haven't been turning whole-heartedly to the Lord with my struggles. I've been pretending to be ok and to be strong. I've just been in a funk. I've been working long hours (as is our whole office--it's camp season!) and not taking care of myself spiritually. I haven't had a chance to talk to the ladies who really speak Truth into my life. I haven't been seeking the Lord in all of my decisions, nor have I been having intentional conversations where encouragement and compassion are central. Instead, I've been trying to discern for myself where I think the Lord is leading me.

Tonight as I was reading a devotional, Jesus Calling by Sarah Young, I heard just want I needed to hear.

"You are on the right path. Listen more to Me, and less to your doubts. I am leading you along the way I designed for you. Therefore, it is a lonely way, humanly speaking. But I go before you as well as alongside you, so you are never alone. Do not expect anyone to understand fully My ways with you, any more than you can comprehend My dealing with others. I am revealing to you the path of Life day by day, and moment by moment. As I said to my disciple Peter, so I repeat to you: Follow Me."

Tonight I heard the Lord say, "Just listen. I've got everything quiet around you for a reason."

So, for now, friends, I'm going to sit here dive into the Word and pray for what God is doing in me and through me, and how He is constantly purging my heart. I hope you'll take a moment to "Just Listen."

Cleaning...

As I was cleaning my apartment this afternoon, I began reflecting on why I love cleaning so much. When I'm happy, I clean. Sad, I clean. Stressed, I clean. Cleaning is my form of relaxation. I started thinking about why I enjoy it. For me, it provides instant gratification. I am able to take something in disarray, and make it clean, neat, and put-together. (This may seem weird, but just stick with me.) When I'm stressed, oftentimes what I do is clean. In my mind and that moment, it is the one stresser that I can fix (and fix it fast!). I can change it into something successful. Isn't that what we all want?--something we can fix. And, it's even better if we can fix it quickly, right?!

If you've been around me for any length of time, you know that I like to see how I can fix something and make it better. In fact, according to the book STRENGTHS FINDER 2.0, my top strength is "Restorative." Here's a little of what that term means:

"You love to solve problems. Whereas some are dismayed when they encounter yet another breakdown, you can be energized by it. You enjoy the challenge of analyzing the symptoms, identifying what is wrong, and finding the solution. What is certain is that you enjoy bringing things back to life. You fixed it, resuscitated it, rekindled its vitality."

On Friday morning, JE and I were working on a project to meet a need at CentriKid Camps. We had dreamed an idea and were trying to make it happen. Like most dreams, we ran into a few snags. Through trial-and-error, we began celebrating small victories as our dream came to life. It was so exciting to solve problems and make the project into something that will help communication at camp.

I don't really know why me cleaning the house caused me to think so introspectively, but it did cause me to dust off my Strengths Finder book and remember the things that I am good at because I tend to only think about the stuff I need to fix. Hence, why I'm a Restorer:)

Reflecting...

My year in pictures...

Dreams of the Future...

What are your dreams for this next year?

This list is more of a "wants/goals/desires" list, instead of "dreams." Just go with it!

- to grow more trusting of the Lord.
- to seek the Lord more, and to rely on myself less.
- to use my degree, education. Preferably in an intermediate school.
- to be the leader that I need to be for my CentriKid team.
- to be WAY more trusting to people.
- to not hold grudges against others.
- to be a better friend.
- to be more compassionate.
- to be braver and more courageous.
- to not let fear hinder any aspect of my life.
- to have a more urgent heart for the lost.
- to be content where I am--single or not.
- to love better.
- to have my words match my heart.
- to read more books.
- to travel out West.
- to be a mentor AND a mentee.

These are just a few of the things I want to do/improve upon in 2012.

Food and Fun...

Where did you eat?

- I ate at one restaurant I'd never eaten at before but had heard a lot about, The Cheesecake Factory. I ate there with my CentriKid team for our staff dinner. It was fantastic!

- When I moved to Nashville, I ate this unique place called the Pfunky Griddle. It's a place where it's all-you-can-eat pancakes. You also cook them at your table, which is pretty cool.

Which blogs did you enjoy most?
I read all types of blogs. Here are a few of the blogs I read:

Personal

Daily Footsteps

The Unsinkable Molly

Coach Echols

Adventures in Ministry, Camp, Marriage, & Life

Leadership/Ministry

Seth Godin's Blog by Seth Godin

Bring the Rain by Angie Smith

Stuff Christians Like by Jon Acuff

When did you celebrate?
Here are a few pics from when I celebrated:


Celebrated the wedding of one of my best friends, Diana, with a bridal shower.












Celebrated my college graduation.

Celebrated the beginning of CK1 2011.













Celebrated the end of our 1st week of camp.












Celebrated "Christmas in July."













Celebrated after finishing the Warrior Dash.

Gone...

Who did you miss?

I’m not really a person who “misses” people. I’m perfectly fine moving away and being away from those I love. I don’t really get attached to people, for the most part. However, two people that I did miss this year are two people who have passed away in the past 5 years—my Nanny and my Papaw.

Nanny died 5 years ago and I still miss her every day. She was one of my best friends. She was the lady I most resemble; you can ask anyone who knew her. I look like her, move like her, and talk like her. It was tough graduating from college knowing that she didn’t get to see any of it. I know it’s been 5 years, but with every new thing that happens in my life, I still miss her.

My Papaw died this summer while I was directing at CentriKid. He had a stroke in March and never really rebounded. It was the weirdest feeling having to come home for the funeral after being at camp for 3 weeks. It was tough, yet honoring, being the family member chosen to read scripture and give the eulogy. I miss my Papaw a lot, but I know that he isn’t struggling anymore.

I know you all are thankful for that incredibly uplifting post. *sarcasm* Maybe tomorrow’s post will a little more fun!

Catch up...

So, I've been slacking of on #Reverb11. For a while, I didn't really like the prompts and, then, I just didn't think about writing. This post of going to be kind of a "catch up" from the last week-ish of not posting.

Where did you leave a mark?

I think I felt a mark on the CentriKid team I directed this summer. I didn't know until after the summer that the things I said and had been passionate about really had stuck with some of them. I can't tell you how many times I've seen a tweet, wall post, comment, or text message that has my infamous challenge, "rock it out!" I said this multiple times a day to my team and apparently it stuck!

I also think I left a mark on them in the fact that I was constantly reminding them, and myself, that camp isn't our ministry. There are 10 months out of the year when we're NOT at camp. 10 months to make a difference. 10 months to pour into others. 10 months to share what the Lord has brought us through. 10 months to spread the gospel!!! I didn't realize that my passion on this topic left a mark until I read a blog post on of my staffers, Molly, had written. She wrote about how you have to love out your faith in everyday life and that our ministry doesn't stop once camp is over. She couldn't be more true.

Who touched your heart?
I'll (try to) be quick with this one. The thing, or moment, that touched my heart the most was this summer when I helped lead to girl to Christ. First of all, I'm not a fan of that phrase "lead someone to Christ." He doesn't NEED me to do that, but hopefully you understand what I mean.
Anyway, she came down front after an amazing, Gospel-filled sermon by our camp pastor, David. Ordinarily, I didn't go down front to counsel kids. I was the camp director so I didn't have a ton of one-on-one conversations with the kids. It was the staff who spent hours a day pouring into these kids, so I left that part of the evening to them. But, on this night, all the staff was already counseling kids so I went down. This little girl walked up to me with a focused look on her face. We went outside and I asked her why she had come down front. Her response was quick and to the point, "I'm ready to accept God as my Savior. Now. Right now." I asked her a few questions to confirm that she knew what she was doing. She did. Then I asked her to pray to accept Christ. I wasn't going to do it for her or have her repeat some "magical" prayer. She began to pray and tell God that she believed in Him and she knew that she did wrong thing, but that she wanted to follow Him anyway. It was beautiful... and innocent. It was perfect. As she was praying, the tears began to flow--from both of us. When she said "amen!," She jumped into my lap and gave her the biggest hug and welcomed her as a new sister in Christ. We, then, went to told her church group leader. The leader was so happy for her and all she could do was hug and hold her. Perfect!

When were you most grateful?
There were a lot of times when I was grateful this year, but I think the most poignant memory was when my CentriKid team rallied around me when my papaw died our second week of camp. I knew it was coming, but it still hurt. My mom called right when I was about to begin our nightly staff meeting. When I came back in the auditorium, they could tell that something was wrong. I told them and they circled around me and prayed over my and my family. I felt so incredibly loved by them and could see their genuine concern. I was most grateful for them at that moment because, while at camp, they were my family. They were the ones I could turn to and be encouraged by. I love them so much!


Ok, so I've made up for a few days. I'll be better at writing in the coming days. Promise:)