Just Listen...

Forewarning, this is a very transparent post. I don't know why I feel led to write this, but I am none-the-less.

Over the last few weeks or so, I've really been struggling emotionally. Part of it is because I'm pretty sure by hyperthyroidism is acting up (it makes me really emotional), and the other part is stress. I also think it's because I haven't been turning whole-heartedly to the Lord with my struggles. I've been pretending to be ok and to be strong. I've just been in a funk. I've been working long hours (as is our whole office--it's camp season!) and not taking care of myself spiritually. I haven't had a chance to talk to the ladies who really speak Truth into my life. I haven't been seeking the Lord in all of my decisions, nor have I been having intentional conversations where encouragement and compassion are central. Instead, I've been trying to discern for myself where I think the Lord is leading me.

Tonight as I was reading a devotional, Jesus Calling by Sarah Young, I heard just want I needed to hear.

"You are on the right path. Listen more to Me, and less to your doubts. I am leading you along the way I designed for you. Therefore, it is a lonely way, humanly speaking. But I go before you as well as alongside you, so you are never alone. Do not expect anyone to understand fully My ways with you, any more than you can comprehend My dealing with others. I am revealing to you the path of Life day by day, and moment by moment. As I said to my disciple Peter, so I repeat to you: Follow Me."

Tonight I heard the Lord say, "Just listen. I've got everything quiet around you for a reason."

So, for now, friends, I'm going to sit here dive into the Word and pray for what God is doing in me and through me, and how He is constantly purging my heart. I hope you'll take a moment to "Just Listen."

Cleaning...

As I was cleaning my apartment this afternoon, I began reflecting on why I love cleaning so much. When I'm happy, I clean. Sad, I clean. Stressed, I clean. Cleaning is my form of relaxation. I started thinking about why I enjoy it. For me, it provides instant gratification. I am able to take something in disarray, and make it clean, neat, and put-together. (This may seem weird, but just stick with me.) When I'm stressed, oftentimes what I do is clean. In my mind and that moment, it is the one stresser that I can fix (and fix it fast!). I can change it into something successful. Isn't that what we all want?--something we can fix. And, it's even better if we can fix it quickly, right?!

If you've been around me for any length of time, you know that I like to see how I can fix something and make it better. In fact, according to the book STRENGTHS FINDER 2.0, my top strength is "Restorative." Here's a little of what that term means:

"You love to solve problems. Whereas some are dismayed when they encounter yet another breakdown, you can be energized by it. You enjoy the challenge of analyzing the symptoms, identifying what is wrong, and finding the solution. What is certain is that you enjoy bringing things back to life. You fixed it, resuscitated it, rekindled its vitality."

On Friday morning, JE and I were working on a project to meet a need at CentriKid Camps. We had dreamed an idea and were trying to make it happen. Like most dreams, we ran into a few snags. Through trial-and-error, we began celebrating small victories as our dream came to life. It was so exciting to solve problems and make the project into something that will help communication at camp.

I don't really know why me cleaning the house caused me to think so introspectively, but it did cause me to dust off my Strengths Finder book and remember the things that I am good at because I tend to only think about the stuff I need to fix. Hence, why I'm a Restorer:)