I'm sitting here on the cusp of the next stage in my life. I move to Nashville in 3 days and begin my "big girl job" in 4. While I have a nervous stomach fueled by uncertainty and anticipation about my future, but I am compelled to write about the past--this past summer, in particular. I feel I'm ready to share about this summer with CentriKid. I'm ready to share about how the team grew me and how their stories encouraged me and usually made me laugh. I'm ready to share how I was blessed by them and by seeing them truly live out the Gospel. But, more importantly, I'm ready to share how amazing our God is and how He was evident this summer.
This summer was filled with a lot of things... Intense laughter until I almost peed my pants; tears that I felt would never end; hugs that couldn't possibly get any tighter; hearts that, seemingly, couldn't be more burdened.
This summer, I laughed so hard that I didn't think I would survive. CK1... let's face it, we were full of some truly hysterical people. There were guys who would dance and act ridiculous; there were girls who's laughs were infectious. One time that sticks out in my mind was when a bird pooped on my head at training week. Here I am, I've been with my team for maybe 24 hours, and this bird poops on my head as we're acting out counseling scenarios that they might encounter with kids. Let's just say, my squeals and freak-out moment provided everyone in the room a nice break from finding out how to deal with the kid who has been"saved" 2987 times.
This summer, I cried more than I had in an incredibly long time. People that know me know that crying is not something you will see me do very often. I just don't. Call me heartless. Call me insensitive, maybe. But it doesn't happen often... or so I thought. I cried the first night of worship. I was literally pleading with the Lord to save the kids. Yes, pleading. I had NEVER been burdened for a group of 3rd-6th graders like that before. I cried when I felt like I was doing a horrible job. I cried when I didn't feel like I was encouraging enough. I cried when I didn't feel like I had prepared the team well. On one particularly emotional day, I began to tally... I cried 7 times. Why? I have no clue, other than the fact that we had 900 campers and adults, 45 staffers, and 2 camps to run simultaneously. Ok, so I freaked out a little. In that, though, I was reminded of the story of Moses in Exodus 17: 11-13,
"Whenever Moses held up his hand, Israel prevailed, and whenever he lowered his hand, Amalek prevailed. But Moses' hands grew weary, so they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it, while Aaron and Hur held up his hands, one on one side, and the other on the other side. So his hands were steady until the going down of the sun. And Joshua overwhelmed Amalek and his people with the sword."
During that time was when, yes, I felt my weakest, but I could also feel the strength of the team--the Dream Team.
This summer, the love present on CK1 was amazing. We had some tough situations to come through--deaths, struggles at home, differences, exhaustion. But, through it all, we found time and energy to love and invest into one another. From 10 hour budget rides to 2 am talks under shooting stars in the south Georgia sky, I came to know their hearts. My team's hearts. Their hurts and their successes. I came to LOVE their youth. and their questions. and their apprehensions. and their fears. and their wisdom. But, more importantly, I came to absolutely cherish their hearts. I loved this team. They were a great first go-around for me as a director. All this was unexpected. I didn't think I would form as great of friendships as I did, and for that I am ever grateful because the Lord provided what I needed.
This summer, our hearts were burdened with the endless hurts of kids and adults, alike. I literally dreaded Monday nights because I had to inform the team of the struggles of the kids during staff meeting as we went over and prayed for the kids with special attention cards at camp. Some weeks, there were cards I couldn't bring myself to read because I couldn't verbalize what was written. I wanted to cry. I wanted to throw up. I wanted to help them. I prayed the Lord would change their situations. As hard as it was for me see these cards, it was even harder to have a staffer come to me with tears welling up in their eyes, their voice shaking, as they told me more details of the stories. Yes, these were tough moments. Yes, they hurt. Yes, I wanted to fix it. But the greatest moments at camp were seeing these hurting kids "get it." When a kid says, "this is the first time I realize I have a purpose and I'm not a 'nobody' like I've always been told.'" When I child realizes that the reason their mom is a drug addict is so the Lord can be glorified through their life. That's why we're called to do what we do. That's why our Redeemer, for some insane reason, chooses to use corrupt college students to proclaim His name. I am humbled by this. I am encouraged by this. by the love. by the sacrifice. by the GOSPEL!
I'll leave this incredibly long post with a story our site contact at Norman Park told me the day we left to come home.
There was a housekeeper there who said that no group had ever talked to her and wanted to hear how her day was before, outside of our team this summer. She asked what was different about us and if we were Christians. Brian, our amazing site contact, asked her if she was a believer. The response was, "no." At that time, Brian was blessed with the opportunity to share the Gospel with this lady. She became a believer! Another victory for Christ! Amen!!!
So, I ask you, are you showing Christ? Are you living Christ? Is every bit of your being exuding Christ?
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