Just Within Reach ...

I know it's been a few weeks since I've blogged, but I've had so much going on in my life that there's no possible way to focus it into a blog post. Right now, I'm sitting here thinking about what to tell you. I'm laying on a bed in Nashville that is not my own, because my apartment isn't ready yet. So my incredible friends, Nic & Meredith, have taken me into their home for a few weeks. I'm sitting in "my" room looking around and realizing everything my life consists of right now is within 5 feet of me. Don't believe me? Let me illustrate this for you... on my bed is a CentriKid Camps OMC shirt, a wallet, a cell phone, and letters that I'm in the process of writing to my amazing CK1 Dream Team. Right beside me on the floor is my suitcase and my "big girl" bag I take to work everyday. Finally, on the night stand is my Bible, devotional, and a few books I've either finished reading or am just about to start. This is my life. A life where everything I need is within reach. A life that isn't cluttered. A life that is simple... at least for now.

While times like these should encourage us and give us moments of rest, do we cherish them? Probably not. It is in these times when we relax and think... and good gracious, we analyze. We muddle. We mull. We think of what-if's and why-not's. I've been doing a lot of this lately. Have I been the best person? Am I using the gifts the Lord has given me? Am I being encouraging? Most importantly, do people see Christ when interact with them?

I was talking to one of my staffers the other day and they were talking about how they were trying to get through this school year so they could get to camp again. At that moment I challenged them not to let camp become their only place of ministry, because there are 10 other months in the year where camp isn't there. Ten other months when kids aren't right side you 18 hours of the day. Ten months where your quiet times aren't the 20 minutes before the 8:15 am staff meeting. Ten months where kids aren't tugging at your shorts to buy a Sno Cone or play Ninja. Ten months where people yearning to hear the Gospel aren't "Just Within Reach..."

Not only was this a challenge for that staffer, but for me as well. I don't want to be a person who only ministers when it's 5 feet away from me or when it first comfortably into my schedule. I want my ministry to be at my job, my church, my grocery store. I'm called to be an example of Christ where ever I go and whatever I do.

So, I ask you, are you seeing things that are just within reach or are you looking AND moving past those things to see more?

Laughing, Crying, Hurting, & Healing...

I'm sitting here on the cusp of the next stage in my life. I move to Nashville in 3 days and begin my "big girl job" in 4. While I have a nervous stomach fueled by uncertainty and anticipation about my future, but I am compelled to write about the past--this past summer, in particular. I feel I'm ready to share about this summer with CentriKid. I'm ready to share about how the team grew me and how their stories encouraged me and usually made me laugh. I'm ready to share how I was blessed by them and by seeing them truly live out the Gospel. But, more importantly, I'm ready to share how amazing our God is and how He was evident this summer.

This summer was filled with a lot of things... Intense laughter until I almost peed my pants; tears that I felt would never end; hugs that couldn't possibly get any tighter; hearts that, seemingly, couldn't be more burdened.

This summer, I laughed so hard that I didn't think I would survive. CK1... let's face it, we were full of some truly hysterical people. There were guys who would dance and act ridiculous; there were girls who's laughs were infectious. One time that sticks out in my mind was when a bird pooped on my head at training week. Here I am, I've been with my team for maybe 24 hours, and this bird poops on my head as we're acting out counseling scenarios that they might encounter with kids. Let's just say, my squeals and freak-out moment provided everyone in the room a nice break from finding out how to deal with the kid who has been"saved" 2987 times.

This summer, I cried more than I had in an incredibly long time. People that know me know that crying is not something you will see me do very often. I just don't. Call me heartless. Call me insensitive, maybe. But it doesn't happen often... or so I thought. I cried the first night of worship. I was literally pleading with the Lord to save the kids. Yes, pleading. I had NEVER been burdened for a group of 3rd-6th graders like that before. I cried when I felt like I was doing a horrible job. I cried when I didn't feel like I was encouraging enough. I cried when I didn't feel like I had prepared the team well. On one particularly emotional day, I began to tally... I cried 7 times. Why? I have no clue, other than the fact that we had 900 campers and adults, 45 staffers, and 2 camps to run simultaneously. Ok, so I freaked out a little. In that, though, I was reminded of the story of Moses in Exodus 17: 11-13,

"Whenever Moses held up his hand, Israel prevailed, and whenever he lowered his hand, Amalek prevailed. But Moses' hands grew weary, so they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it, while Aaron and Hur held up his hands, one on one side, and the other on the other side. So his hands were steady until the going down of the sun. And Joshua overwhelmed Amalek and his people with the sword."

During that time was when, yes, I felt my weakest, but I could also feel the strength of the team--the Dream Team.

This summer, the love present on CK1 was amazing. We had some tough situations to come through--deaths, struggles at home, differences, exhaustion. But, through it all, we found time and energy to love and invest into one another. From 10 hour budget rides to 2 am talks under shooting stars in the south Georgia sky, I came to know their hearts. My team's hearts. Their hurts and their successes. I came to LOVE their youth. and their questions. and their apprehensions. and their fears. and their wisdom. But, more importantly, I came to absolutely cherish their hearts. I loved this team. They were a great first go-around for me as a director. All this was unexpected. I didn't think I would form as great of friendships as I did, and for that I am ever grateful because the Lord provided what I needed.

This summer, our hearts were burdened with the endless hurts of kids and adults, alike. I literally dreaded Monday nights because I had to inform the team of the struggles of the kids during staff meeting as we went over and prayed for the kids with special attention cards at camp. Some weeks, there were cards I couldn't bring myself to read because I couldn't verbalize what was written. I wanted to cry. I wanted to throw up. I wanted to help them. I prayed the Lord would change their situations. As hard as it was for me see these cards, it was even harder to have a staffer come to me with tears welling up in their eyes, their voice shaking, as they told me more details of the stories. Yes, these were tough moments. Yes, they hurt. Yes, I wanted to fix it. But the greatest moments at camp were seeing these hurting kids "get it." When a kid says, "this is the first time I realize I have a purpose and I'm not a 'nobody' like I've always been told.'" When I child realizes that the reason their mom is a drug addict is so the Lord can be glorified through their life. That's why we're called to do what we do. That's why our Redeemer, for some insane reason, chooses to use corrupt college students to proclaim His name. I am humbled by this. I am encouraged by this. by the love. by the sacrifice. by the GOSPEL!

I'll leave this incredibly long post with a story our site contact at Norman Park told me the day we left to come home.

There was a housekeeper there who said that no group had ever talked to her and wanted to hear how her day was before, outside of our team this summer. She asked what was different about us and if we were Christians. Brian, our amazing site contact, asked her if she was a believer. The response was, "no." At that time, Brian was blessed with the opportunity to share the Gospel with this lady. She became a believer! Another victory for Christ! Amen!!!

So, I ask you, are you showing Christ? Are you living Christ? Is every bit of your being exuding Christ?

A Story from Old...

So, I don't really have anything insightful to say from me personally. I'm working on a post about camp this summer, but haven't quite gotten it where I want it to be. I do, however, have some very insightful words from my great-grandmother.

Yesterday, when I went to visit my Mamaw, she gave me a few sheets of paper that my great-grandmother (her mother) had written upon almost 40 years ago. The following story was written by an amazing Christian woman with an 8th grade education. She grew up only going into town 3 times a year, but her words were eloquent and her heart was all for the Lord. The coming lines were written by Pauline "Mamaw Pauline" McGaha, my great-grandmother.



Stormy Weather in a Christian Life

We, as human beings, know life isn't smooth sailing as we sail upon the sea of life. Maybe some days will seem ideal, without any trouble. Then, we are prone to take our eyes off of the Lord--we forget from whence cometh out help, so on we go in out own way. Pretty soon a storm cloud arises and dims our sunshine. Then, we are in for trouble. our little boat may be tossed to and fro as the strong winds hit us--then, we almost sink into the deep. It it then we remember where out help must come from. Have you ever been so overwhelmed with storms of sorrow that you almost lost sight of the Savior? Have you ever let something else creep in, and you tend to take your eyes off of Jesus? Out little boat may overturn in this sea of life unless we cling to the One who is able to steer us through these storms; He is ever present.

Sometimes we as Christians let such things as hatred, malice, greed and selfishness get in our ships. We feel we don't want anyone's help. Pretty soon we will find ourselves miserable, unhappy, discontent. Then in shame, we bow our head and say "Lord, help me or I perish." Then sometimes our very busy life takes our eyes off Jesus--too busy to help with His kingdom work, but not too busy for our pleasure trips, or games, fishing, picnics or whatever we enjoy most than serving God. It is then we slip a little more downward in our ship. THen when we finally realize out standing with the Lord, we again are about to sink, then we have to say "Lord, I need you again today." When storms beat us and waves roll high, cling ever closer to the One who calmed the sea as He said, "peace be still."

Let's not forget Him when everything is pleasant and we are enjoying life for tomorrow another storm may arise. In our lifetime, there has been lots of stormy weather, but He has helped me someway through it all. So I'll continue to sail my little ship until He says it's enough. Through storms or fair weather, trying to keep my eyes on Jesus. Them when it's all over, I'll step on the gospel ship that will take me over the chilly Jordan. There all storms will have ceased. We will have perfect weather and join our dear loved ones that await us on the other side, where ever heaven is that is my goal.

... May we all rededicate and consecrate ourselves to trying to throw our a life line to some of our friends that are sinking deeper and deeper.


These are some amazing words and ones that reign all so true in our lives today. So, I challenge you to keep looking upward and try to keep your head above water, because you never know when you'll have to be on high enough ground to throw someone else a life line.

Reader vs. Leader...

So, I was at a funeral this week... yep, I know that's an interesting start to a post, but just go with it! And, no, a "reader" isn't referring to reading a book. Anyway, I was at a funeral this week and the pastor (a Southern, back-country man) gave a sermon on being not a reader, but a leader.

He opened up his message with the recent rapture "prediction" that that world has been consumed with as of late. He talked of how you can't trust people or what they say, because our world is messed up and crooked. He made reference to many years ago when one could trust what was on the news or in the newspaper. THEN, he said the point of his sermon (and the title of this post)--world has become a nation of "readers, not leaders." The analogy he gave is how new anchors, simply, read what's on the screen. They don't deliver the news anymore, or invest in the afflictions of the world. They only read off of a teleprompter. I hadn't really thought of this, I guess. But it's so true. We only want to follow directions or instructions and not really lead others or encourage others. We get hung up on the details of things and don't take time to invest in people or situations.

This can translate into our spiritual walk, as well. We, as Christians, are called to be "doers of the Word." James commands of this in his book (1:22). We're not commanded to ONLY read scripture or to ONLY serve in our churches when we can, but we're called to be leaders of the Faith and followers of Christ. We are called to build others up and lead them to the One who will never deceive.

A reader only reads things to tell others of something. A leader invests in something, researches it, lives it, and spreads it. I hope and pray that each of you will be leaders, and NOT readers.

Which one are you?

The Calm Before the Camp Storm...

I'm sitting here preparing for CentriKid Camps. Staffers and site contacts have been/ or are being called, lists are made, roommates are set for training week (Thanks, Caroline), and many other details are coming together.

When I stop and think what I have to do next, I don't know. I know there's a ton that I need to be doing, but I can't think of it right now. I would call this "the calm." I call it this, because everything looks all calm. It doesn't look like I'm moving quickly or going crazy. Looks can be deceiving! My mind is going 9872349817 miles an hour and my stomach feels constantly nervous. Will the "oh my gracious, I wanna thrown up" feeling cease?! Hopefully. Maybe it will end when the "storm" approaches, when I have no time or energy to think about it. Or maybe not. Maybe it will last the entire summer because I'm such a perfectionist and over-planner. Only time will tell.

One thing I do know about this nervous feeling is that I need to trust the Lord more. I need to rely on His strength and not my own. That's what this feeling is! It's me trying to get in the way of everything! I need to step out of the way and let God take over.

So do not worry, saying, "what will we eat?" or "what shall we drink?" or "what shall we wear?" For the pagans run after all these things, and your Heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things shall be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. ~ Matthew 6:31-34

Camp will happen. Rec will be great. ICW will be amazing. Staffers will make friends with one another. But, most importantly, lives will be changed by Jesus Christ.

I am going to hold strong to this. I'm going to try to chill out in the next week and do what needs to be done and not stress about it. Easier said than done, but I will TRY.

Alas, this rant has ended. Time to get back to work...

Removing labels...

Well, I'm sitting here working on calling all sorts of folks to camp this summer. My life consists of a lot of this, lately. I plan, I call, I plan, I call... You catch my drift. But, in the midst of all the monotony, I am realizing that I am at a intersection in my life. My comfortable life as I know it is about to move and change.

I am ending my career as a student. This morning I came to the realization that by Sunday at 7:00 pm will be the first time since I was 5 years old that I will no longer be a student. Something that has defined me for 17 years, will be cease to be label. It's exciting, but very unnerving, too. What will define me, now. My job, my friends, my faith...

Graduation isn't the only thing that is going to change me, moving to a new city is as well. I'll be moving to Nashville, TN in August to pursue an internship at LifeWay Christian Resources. Words cannot describe how pumped I am to have this opportunity. Excited, yes. Apprehensive, an even more resounding "YES!" I am moving away from all I've ever known. I'm moving away from what I'm comfortable with. This will be a test for me as a person. I've got to figure who I am apart from school, my career, my friends, & my family.

I am incredibly thrilled to see how the Lord is going to mold me. It's going to be tough and painful sometimes, but I'm ready. I couldn't be MORE ready. I'm ready to tear off the labels that define the current Jessica, and stick on new ones that show the world who I want to become.

The verse that I have been clinging to for the past year is from Jeremiah, "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans for you welfare, not for disaster, to give you a FUTURE and a HOPE." Is this not amazing?! I love it! I have to soak it in sometimes, because I like to control things. I'm very Type-A, so it's hard for me not to know where I'm going or how I'm going to get there. But I do know that my God is going to lead me on a path that is in my best interest where I can do His best work. This is my comfort. So, I think the label I'll put on today will read "Passenger," because I don't know where I'm going, but I do know that I am being taken somewhere where I would never lead myself.

What label are you going to stick on?

A Time for Creativity...

Well, this is my first time blogging. I've been contemplating this for a while. I feel like I have a lot of things on my mind and a lot of things going on in my heart that I want to say. Over the next few months, I'm going to be challenged like never before. I'm taking on a "big girl" job, moving 3 1/2 hours from home, and, ultimately, becoming my own person. I feel expressing my thoughts will help me figure out who I am and who the Lord to transforming me into. I am excited about this! Don't get too pumped, my thoughts are not going to be mind-blowing or earth shattering, but they will be my own. Enjoy at your own risk:)